We did think about bringing you 8 videos about turkeys but instead went for 8 videos that are turkeys! (Ouch). When Andy Warhol proclaimed back in ’68 that “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”, little could he have realised how very true this has come to be. With access to video recording equipment available to anyone with a smartphone, there doesn’t seem to be that much-needed filter that stops people recording anything and everything. Granted, some of these pre-date the current technology but the fact that they were uploaded to YouTube for all the world to enjoy/loathe is something we are definitely grateful for.
1. So Your Cat Wants A Massage?
“Who’s the best cat in the United States? It’s you, Champer-Damper, it’s you!” Maryjean Ballner, the world’s foremost expert on cat massages uploaded this much needed tutorial back in ’09 and it continues to entertain the masses. It’s worth watching all the way through even though Champer never actually claws her face off which of course, would be the natural order of things in the real world.
Highlight: Champion’s “WTF is this?” moment at the 2:18 mark
2. Leave Britney Alone!
Uber-Britney fan, Chris Crocker, took to YouTube (from his bed? From behind his living room curtains?) to call out all her haters after her pretty lame performance at the 2007 VMA’s. 47 million people have enjoyed Chris’s meltdown and he’s since gone on to be something of a name in the gay porn industry, fact fans. Warning: A bit sweary.
3. eHarmony Video Bio
Cara Hartmann’s online dating video profile scares off all potential suitors within a billion mile radius.
Highlight: First signs of emotional, er, fraility at 0:47
4. Losing You – Jan Terri
Attention wannabe popstars! Dreams can come true as housewife/superstar Miss Jan Terri proves in this beautifully produced but emotionally draining plea to her lover. From the same diva that brought us “Excuse My Christmas”, “If You Want A Divorce” and “Get Down Goblin” (no, really).
Highlight: 1:37 – the camera pans to a shot of a traffic sign for no apparent reason whatsoever,
5. Worst Office Freak Out Ever
This probably wasn’t funny for anyone in that office and certainly not for the man who loses his sh*t but it has never yet failed to make me bark with laughter and I’ve watched it at least 100 times.
Highlight: When he loses his balance around 2:32, as if his day wasn’t bad enough already.
6. Spartan High School Style
It’s not my favorite song ever, but Psy’s “Gangnam Style” did have a certain charm and, of course, it performed fairly well for the K-Pop singer. But my God, the deluge of unfunny parodies it brought in its wake. With so many to choose from, imagine just how bad Spartan High School’s must have been to make the grade. Truly horrifying.
7. Unexpected Guest
As someone whose artistic talents stop at stick figure drawings of dogs, I fully appreciate the effort that anyone puts into creating a piece of film. However, that said, I’m sure everyone involved in this stop-motion clip, from the creator to the viewer could have saved themselves a lot of wasted time if only they’d gone and done something more useful instead.
Highlight: Teddy bears doing the Can Can at 1:47, natch.
8. Vern Fonk Insurance Wishes You Merry Christmas
Undecided about whether to have a Merry Christmas or not? Watch Rob Thielke of Vern Fonk Insurance make it very clear that you WILL have one, no matter what your religious persuasion.
Highlight: 0:05, just before he hacks his family to death.