No whammy, no whammy…STOP! Damn, no Hulu deal, but that’s a good thing I think.

The following is a joint statement from Hulu owners News Corporation, Providence Equity Partners, The Walt Disney Company and the Hulu senior management team:

Hulu Sale Called Off

“Since Hulu holds a unique and compelling strategic value to each of its owners, we have terminated the sale process and look forward to working together to continue mapping out its path to even greater success.  Our focus now rests solely on ensuring that our efforts as owners contribute in a meaningful way to the exciting future that lies ahead for Hulu.”

I will translate for you:

  • No one coughed up enough cash to make us consider letting go our iron grip on our content, or
  • 5-year content deals? It’s time for the Betty Ford Clinic crackheads, or
  • We salivate over all of Netflix’s lost sheep and want to shear them dry. or
  • Hulu is like, the only place that we can like totally have control, and triple dip on profits dude…it’s just rad!

Hah! Seriously, I had thought this might happen last week or maybe two weeks ago. Perhaps they’ve come to terms with the Hulu CEO and have realized that he has some good ideas that could be far more lucrative than simply selling the site.

Or perhaps, they’ve read all my posts about how much it would benefit others and found that they might actually just keep it and benefit themselves. Or perhaps, they realized that their content isn’t all that valuable unless it’s exclusive, for years, much like some people view relationships!

Who Run Hulu-Town! Master Blaster run Hulu-Town…no wait, what? Must be Friday.